Married to Medicine: How We Keep Up
3 minute read
It’s been awhile since I’ve had the chance to put thoughts here on the blog. Our schedules have been quite hectic these last few months as we’ve settled into Matt’s first year of residency. I get so many questions regarding Matt’s schedule, how we manage it and how it fits into my work schedule.
Matt is a first-year resident or postgraduate year one (PGY-1) or to put it simply: an intern. First year residents are known as interns. They’re known to work a minimum of 80 hours a week and have limited time off. His year is broken down into several four-week sub-rotations from June through June. So when people ask me why I plan vacations and trips so far in advance - it’s because we know his schedule from now until at least next June!
It’s not always easy. If you’re a spouse or partner to someone walking through med school, residency or the life of a doctor - it can be taxing. I’ve had my share of being worn out between my work demands and keeping up with Matt’s schedule and finding time for us, the house and everything in between. Thankfully, we’ve had some time for trial and error and have found that these things work best for us to stay on top of scheduling, in particular.
Calendars: We use our phones and a calendar that hangs on our fridge to keep scheduling straight. I prefer using my phone but Matt prefers the fridge calendar. We have three iPhone shared calendars that we use for bills, everyday life (family events, etc.) and Matt’s work. When we receive Matt’s master rotation schedule, I enter in start dates of each rotation and any known days off or work travel for myself on both calendar versions. His on-call schedule comes about a week before every rotation (all the crazy hours, 24-hour shifts, weekends, etc.) once we have it, I enter that too. This has helped us tremendously. Before, I was solely using a shared calendar on my phone and quite honestly, Matt never looked at it. It doesn’t work for him, so when things started getting more hectic - we added in a way that would help him see it all in one place.
Regular check-ins: Plans change, Matt’s schedule switches, etc. Every Monday is my check-in day. I kick off my work week glancing over the calendar for the week and paying any bills. This helps me have one day a week before work that I can spend time and focus on what’s ahead rather than scrambling all week for different bills, appointments, or schedules.
Be intentional: While being organized is a big aspect of this whole gig, being intentional is bigger. I’ve learned in the past four years - we have to protect the time we have. I’ve had to learn to say no, not over-commit and let go of the guilt. Time is limited and there is only so much we can do on a weekend or days off.
Be flexible: There are weeks that I forget what’s going on or mix up shifts - but we try to stay flexible (Matt is better at this than me!). Sometimes things overlap and I have to travel for work on a rough week for Matt or he’s on night shift during the week I have a lot going on. It all comes with balance but we are slowly getting into a groove of his schedule. He will never have a 9-5 job, and his schedule changes every four weeks for the next two years. Because we know this, we have been able to adjust as needed and make the most of the small moments.
We’re in the middle of Matt on night shift and me traveling for work, but definitely looking forward to downtime a little later in the season (and an anniversay trip - hopefully!). Hope this post helped give a little insight into our everyday! Let me know if I can answer any questions!